God has been convicting me of a lot of different things lately. It has been very eye opening. I’ve definitely been learning a lot about myself that I was previous unaware of. One thing that God has really been showing me is that I have a very selfish, short-term view of things. I typically only focus on the hardships that I am going through, or only really care about how something is going to affect me. I have really been working to fix that about myself in the past few months. I have definitely noticed a difference in how I react to situations. I am much more willing to help people now; I am focused more on their needs. I am not perfect (not even close!), but I can tell you that I have definitely noticed an improvement in my attitude since I have stopped focusing on myself so much. It doesn’t seem quite so inconvenient to help someone, once I have put things in perspective. Christ has called us to love and serve others (John 13:34-35). He tells us that when we serve others, it is like we are serving Him (Matthew 25:35-45), that we should do all things for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31), as if we were serving Him and not man (Ephesians 6:7).
I have really started to realize how spoiled I am. I live in this amazing apartment where I have my own bedroom and my own bathroom. I have running water, electricity, air conditioning, heating, a kitchen, a washer and a dryer. I live right next to a grocery store, where I can go any time of day, to buy any amount of food I want. I get to be picky about if I want white rice, or brown rice; whole wheat bread, or white bread. But I will still get upset if the store is out of the particular brand or type I wanted! But I have food. Everyday. I get to choose what I eat, when I eat. People in other countries don’t know IF they get to eat! The kitchen light in our apartment went out a few weeks ago, and housing still hasn’t fixed it. I wish I could say that I had kept a positive attitude about it. I have definitely tried to. I try to remind myself that people in other countries don’t even have electricity. Fortunately, I have gotten a little bit better at keeping things in perspective, but I still have so much room for improvement. It is amazing how quickly I feel like I am entitled to something. It has been so humbling to have God open my eyes to how selfish I really am.
I have also started to really realize how selfish I have been with the Gospel. I hardly share my faith with people! I am so ashamed to say that. I really need to work on that. If I really believe in the Bible, then why would I not be sharing my faith?! The Bible tells us that people who aren’t believers are going to go to hell. Do I really realize how serious that is? Apparently I don’t, because I am still silent. That just sickens me. Why am I not bolder? I need to be sharing the Gospel with urgency, with persistence! Please pray that God would give me (and you) more opportunities to share my faith. I pray that He would give me the words and the courage to boldly share the Gospel with others. I am so thankful that God is starting to convict me of this. I never really realized the urgency, because I have always grown up around other Christians. So I was never close with any one who would have been going to hell. If someone died, people would always be comforted by the fact that they were in heaven with Jesus.
Then, two years ago a girl that I was on cheerleading with committed suicide. She was not a Christian. It totally shook me. She was the first person I knew well who had died. We weren’t best friends or anything, but it was so sobering! I had interacted with her everyday, and hadn’t shared my faith with her. What if I had? Would she have become a Christian? Would she still be alive today? I think of her whenever I am too afraid to share the Gospel with someone. It definitely helps put things in perspective. What do I have to loose by sharing my faith with someone? They might think I am weird. But compared to the eternal life they could gain if they decide to put their faith in Christ- it isn’t even comparable.
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